Saturday, July 16, 2011

Me in a tutu? Yeah right!

I have admitted to most that my one and only television vice is Dancing with the Stars. I try and watch religiously and if I miss an episode I am on youtube searching for the flubs, dumps, falls and fails.
While watching many of my Facebook friends are doing the same. During commercial breaks FB is often a flurry with our critiques. Such as "oh no she didn't just fall on her ass" or "I can't believe hes still in it". After an evening glass of vino it can get really catty.
And that was my downfall.

Kirstie Alley, a champion to all aging, women of size. I really wanted her to win. She had moxie and sass! Every Tuesday, with her Spanx moaning, she went out there and shook her voluptuous tatas and swung those birthing hips. It was awesome. She rocked it.

And then she wore a tutu.
She danced away in a gorgeous, made for TV, sparkly, purple, black and fuchsia ensemble. I am sure it would make the skinny bitch in Swan Lake envious, but it's hard to watch TV when your barfing in the toilet.
It was agreed on Facebook that the tutu was fabulous! "Wouldn't it be fun to wear a tutu"? I asked. Oh yes, we all agreed.
Then with vino in hand, I set my tutu fate. "I'll enter the old car in the Bear Paw Parade and we can all walk along wearing tutus"!

Fast forward eight weeks.
15 yards of tulle
1 Bedazzler and 300 cheap rhinestones
1959 Lincoln
7 children
4 moms
480 pinwheels

If I am going to walk a mile in a parade with a good 3,000 people watching it might as well be for a good cause. So I bought the pinwheels for the national Child Abuse Awareness Center.

Day of.
What the hell! I should never be held too what is written on Facebook while drinking wine. That is wrong, just wrong. I am an overweight, five foot nothing girl, now swathed in tulle and sparkles. Nothing good can come of this. Nothing at all.

But what a rockin fun day!


  1. We totally rocked that parade and you looked adorable! So where are we going to wear those outfits next??

  2. Isn't there a charity cross country ski this winter where everyone wears costumes? All we have to do is learn to ski. Easy cheesy.


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