Awhile back a family member posted and linked on Facebook an article written by a woman who among other high profile jobs was an assistant to Secretary of State Clinton. This woman was perplexed that she was not able to have it all.
She wound up quitting her "dream job" so that she could be closer to her 14 year old. A teenager that was having some troubles with school and had troubles in the past.
She wrote that when her two children were younger, her other dream job kept her away from home. BUT, she came home for weekends, had great quality time with her children and they went on fabulous vacations.
Hmmm, and now her child is having problems. I am surprised it took fourteen years.
This woman is a highly educated, articulate person that can't figure out why she can't have it all? But she can.
Here it is.
Quality time is a farce. An antiquated term thought up by women in the 70's hopped up on Xanax and white wine, wanting a reason to get away from the burdens of raising a family 24/7. Work wasn't a monetary necessity for most. It was an escape. Quality time with the kiddos was to make everything seem okay.
Quality time took on a fiercer meaning in the 80's. The keep up with the Joneses, BMW, MacMansion era of American suburban history, was just beginning. Mommy and Daddy must work 50 hours a week each, so they can keep up the lease payments on the 320i. Big hair, German cars and big payments.
The Ivy League dream job worker, didn't have to grab the golden ring. She chose too, and her family suffered for her decisions. Now she needs to buck up and take responsibility for her actions and the profound ramifications it has had on her children. Instead, she blames her problems on the current economy and the societal structure of the United States. Really?
Children need their mothers. They need time, not forced upon them for 48
hours a week. But hanging out, doing nothing, just knowing Mom is
there, time.
It is blatantly staring her in the face and she blames society! Well here it is, easy peasy.
Working mothers can have it all. But their families cannot.
http://m.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/#.UAZBu6Qv1U0.facebook
I was told poopoo when I made a little comment on the family member's Facebook page.
Is Peter Pan dead?
2 days ago
This is why I teach childbirth education and attend limited births as a doula, for now, with midwifery on the table for later; when my kids can all make their own breakfasts and Maeve can be left in charge for 12 hours without CPS getting called. I think if done well, we can have a little bit of it all at the same time, just not all of it all at the same time. I wish I could eat a whole gourmet blueberry cheesecake and ride the Gravitron at the same time, too, but I don't see an attempt at that ending well. Priorities dudes - and dudettes - and in my case, that's my kids. Or Gravitron first, then cheesecake. Whatever the case may be.
ReplyDeleteThat is why you are such an awesome Mom. Your amazing kids come first, but you also help others in such a caring way.
ReplyDeleteThat noted. I won't be riding the Gravitron with you anytime soon. Just in case you put the idea to a test.