Go Ahead, Hit Me.......

To the driver of the car that tailed me down the hi-way today. I am not going to speed up in a construction zone. I am not going to get a double fine traffic ticket because of you. I will continue to drive 55mph. No more, no less.
Please feel free to rear end my car with your wimpy, pathetic, Ford Explorer. The last person to rear end me wiped out a fourth of her car. I didn't even FEEL it!
I hope you spilled your cheap cup of gas station coffee in your lap, when you swerved to get in the fast lane. Maybe next time you should quit yapping on your crappy cell phone and put out your stinking Marlboro.
Trust me, chick. You are not, you will never be, even in your wildest dreams a Nascar driver. So go ahead and take off that cheezy number 3 sticker from your back window. I know you did your best Dale Earnhardt imitation today. But remember, he is DEAD.

But he was hungry?

"Brodie, why did you put a Swedish fish and Craisins in the fish bowl"? Brodie, "Cuz I thought he maybe wanted a liddle nibble".
Gross, Swedish fish get really slimy after a few minutes in warm fish water. The goldfish, Fishy is his name, seemed pretty happy. After a life of dull dehydrated fish flakes, he finally got some real fish food. And I get to clean the bowl today.

Good Morning....Huh?

Wake up, trudge my way into the kitchen. Latte, must make, my Monday morning latte.
What the hell is that? Upon further and closer inspection, I discover that a miniature Playmobile sword has been jammed into the espresso elixir dispenser unit of the fancy, schmancy, espresso maker.
Apparently, the little one in the house that goes by the name "Not Me" tried to conquer Sir Saeco with a sword. No one wins these kind of games.
Fortunately, for Not Me, I am well versed in sword extraction and all is well with or Monday world.

Beware of the Zoomies========

Driving South on the Glenn yesterday, toodling along around 70mph. Out of NOWHERE came a black Corvette and a black 335i, damn near airborne. Blew my doors off probably going 120 minimum. Completely out of site within seconds. I am exhilarated, jealous and not looking forward to the collision that may be around the bend. Like my Father in Law says, "bad things happen fast at a hundred miles an hour".
But no, these drivers were sooo lucky. I see one trooper drive North, then a second one, then an APD officer. And I am thinking do these cars have a cloaking device.
Nope, there they are, side by side at a very under the speed limit 55.
I don't know what kind of detectors they had, but I want what they have.
It is Zoomie Season in Anchorage, soon the two wheeled weavers will be hitting the pavement.
Best to buckle up, wear a hard hat and check your mirrors, cause they are out there.

What an Oxymoron.

What is wrong with this picture? Could it be Sarah Palin hocking Christian Dior glasses in a Las Vegas shop? Yes that is right folks, step to the FAR right and check it out.
Sorry Sarah my dear. Normal Josephines, don't sell designer glasses. They don't work for Dior. And honestly, most people from Waaaasillllla, don't know Dior from Buster Brown.
No wonder it's a head shot. Dior reps couldn't get her out of those classy, naugahyde, Naughty Monkey peep toes.
I am really close to banning all Christian Dior products in my home. Close, not quite yet, but close.

A big thank you to Gloria Dementoff for Facebooking this great shot.

Rolling Bears, Dancing Halibut? Only in Homer.

Homer VFW Color Guard

For those not in the Homer know. Homer is a small, quaint fishing, artys town at the end of a very long road. You have to work at keeping yourself busy in the winter and Homerites, know how to do it up!
We took the boys down this last weekend for the Homer Winter Carnival. We did not know the carnival was going on before we left. But we fully embraced the activities upon our arrival to The Spit.
The parade was an absolute hi-light of our weekend. Starting off with the traditional color guard(my favorite) and moving on too some less traditional, but very amusing attractions.

No fishing town would be complete without it's very own rolling creepy bear, even creepier Mardi Gras person in silver lame down pants and the strange, yet original, Homer News papergirl. I think she is half yeti, half lhaso apso.
Rounding out the quirky fun, is the truck with goats.

A great big thank you to all the wonderful volunteers in Homer that helped put together this awesome display of small town Americana.

Palin the Warmonger

She said it on Fox News this morning. If Obama wanted to get re-elected in three years he would "have to go to war with Iran and support Israel". Are you KIDDING me? She wants the United States to be at war with three countries in the Middle East? And really piss off all the other countries, by supporting Israel militarily. Israel has a fine military, they don't need our help.

Has she lost her damn mind or did she never have one? Is she blind or stupid? How can she not see what the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have done to this country. Recession, Debt, Depression, Death. A war in Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan are wars this country could never win. EVER. Of course she never had an idea as to how we could support or win such wars, going on at the same time. Three wars, three countries, triple the debt, triple the deaths.

This person has no touch with reality. Her supporters are blind followers of so called "simple talk" and "folksy words". There is nothing simple or folksy about saying our country needs to start another war. A war with Iraq is a war with China and Russia. Sarah Palin can you say NUCLEAR POWERS?